Running with Penguins

The Governor’s Cup Half Marathon (Saturday, Nov. 5th) is a storied race here in South Carolina. It’s one of the toughest half marathons around. Don’t believe me? The delirious uphill slogs, Killborne and Blossom Streets, would like a word with you in private. Blossom alone makes one wonder what the course planner was smoking. Its apocalyptic hill is mercilessly situated just past mile twelve, stretching nearly to the finish.

Naturally, I am running. But there’s a twist. A glutton for punishment, I shall run the Governor’s Cup dressed in a head-to-toe penguin suit.

But that’s not all.

Race organizers have agreed to let me run ‘Charity Chase” style. I will quite literally start the race in LAST PLACE. After the entire field has set off, I will toe the starting line and launch myself after the pack. I will catch as many runners as my polyester-encased legs can manage.

This means that you, intrepid runner, need to double your efforts and steel your will for the arduous race ahead. No one wants to be caught by a sweaty penguin.

Especially not on Blossom street.

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